Wednesday, November 28, 2007

You mean even a woman can open it!?

A great series of adverts from a time when it was ok to beat your wife because she didn't use Chase & Sanborn coffee. It's amazing when you think some of these are from less than 40 years ago. Very funny story, You should definitely check out the full story. read more

read more | digg story

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Another reason not to move to Boston!

Well first its cold, and i hate the Red Sox and the Celtics. Now they are trying to outlaw spanking in Boston. So I will not be moving there anytime soon. Heres the story that left me shaking my head.
"Lawmakers on Beacon Hill are set to consider a proposed ban on spanking children in the commonwealth. NewsCenter 5's Shiba Russell reported that the issue is set for debate at a Statehouse hearing Wednesday morning.The
Boston Herald reported that State Rep. Jay Kaufman filed the spanking
ban petition at the request of an Arlington, Mass., nurse who wants
Massachusetts to become the first state in the country to stop corporal
punishment.If this proposal does become law and
parents are caught hitting their children who are under the age of 18,
they could be charged with abuse or neglect."
Abuse is one thing that I definitely do not believe in, but spanking your kid on the ass when he/she deserves is not abuse. I was spanked and I am fine. I don't disagree with my parents for spanking me.

Read The story here

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Now let me make one thing perfectly clear!

I love my mother very much and at no time should anyone reading this blog think otherwise. I love her so much that I am showing her this blog tomorrow and hoping for the best. I started this as a way to deal with my frustrations about the situation I have created. I hope I am doing it in a humorous way. I have received some comments and reviews that are very hateful and I feel like they are unwarranted. Well I would just like to say thank you to all the people who have read this blog and have gotten the joke. I would especially like to thank the people who have read this blog and gave me support. You are the people that make me keep doing this and I wish you all the best in this holiday season. Anyways I have loved reading other people's blogs and I hope you few that like mine keep reading.

A sad day for women in the USA

Although I am a republican, I hope that does not change our opinion of me, I am sad by the news that Democratic Representative Julia Carson is taking a medical leave. She is being forced to step down because of terminal lung cancer. It's a sad day for American politics and a tragic day for the citizens of Indiana. My prayers are with her and her family. I hope that whoever takes her seat in congress has the same drive to make this world a better place.

My first meme

Here it goes. Never done this one before but I guess i have to try everything once.

Here are the rules:
*Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
*Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself.
*Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
*Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven random/weird things about me:
1. I am horrible at HTML
2. I'm balding so I shave my hair.
3. I am named after a saint, but I am no saint.
4. I love my wife more then my own family.
5. I work with a single vision.
6. I have lost 20 pounds in a month because i stopped drinking soda.
7. My goal is to be self reliant and very rich.. but who doesn't have that dream.

Who to tag. I don't know anyone so I'll just tag Petula back. check out her blog its pretty good.

It's a womens world

Thanks petula for all your support.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Say It aint so Hulk!!

My favorite wrestler is having problems. While I don't think it's all my mothers fault she does hold some of the blame. You see my mother always prayed for the end of wrestling because she thought it fried my brain. I know the two are connected.

Well I say good luck to the Hulk and his ex wife.
"Pro wrestler Hulk Hogan and his wife, Linda, are calling it quits, according to Web site

Linda, 48, who stars alongside her 54-year-old husband and their children in the VH1 reality show "Hogan Knows Best," filed for divorce in a Florida court on Tuesday.

The papers don't say why she wants to end her nearly 24-year marriage to Hogan, whose real name is Terry Gene Bollea, TMZ said.

The couple's son, Nick, 17, lost his driver's license this week after a street-racing crash that left his passenger comatose with a broken skull.

Their daughter, Brooke, 19, is a pop singer who had a hit with "About Us."

Hope Everyone Is Having a Great Holiday.

Cause I'm not.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Okay so this one is not her fault

I Read a story about how working mothers cause their children to be fat.
You can read that story here.
Well I can’t blame my huge gut on her. I am fat because I love to eat and I spend most of my day in a chair behind a desk. So for once my mother is off the hook.
On a lighter note, thank you to all my readers and I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

A plan of attack.

Ok, so I was watching the Godfather last night and a idea popped in my head. Maybe I could intimidate my mother into letting us be. You know the part when the movie producer wakes up with a horse's head in his bed. I think that would work perfectly!
There are a couple of problems though,
1. I don't like blood
2. I happen to love horses
3. and thats really freaking mean
I eventually calmed down. You see my mother pisses me off but i would never want to send her to the psycho ward. I think a dead horse in her bed would do just that.
Afterwards I actually started to feel guilty about even thinking of it. I mean who would do something like that to their own mother? or anybody for that manner.
I decided to see if anyone would go that low, and what do you know, someone has.
A women in England (who just happens to be a mother) was so pissed off at her neighbor that she put a pig's head on her neighbor's fence post. I know its not a horse but still you got to be pretty freaking pissed to do that.

You gotta read this story to believe it.

Well I guess my conscience and my fear of blood saved my mother from the horse but I had fun last night just thinking about. I also found a really funny story, I feel better already.

Monday, November 19, 2007

First Trampoline

So my mother has been bugging me for an entire year about buying my sons first bed. Disregard the fact that he has made no attempt whatsoever to get out of his crib yet. But she is dead set on a fancy new race car bed. She told my wife that it’s ok for her to buy us this bed because he doesn’t have to use it YET after all. She just wants to see his face when he gets his new bed. This might make sense if he was old enough to even care about a bed. All he thinks a bed is for is jumping. So my mother, my dear sweet mother will be buying him his very first “trampoline” for Christmas this year.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Whatever happened to birthday cake?

Found this funny little treat earlier today. Make sure you always confirm your orders with entertainment companies. A mother in england didn't and her son paid the price.

"A schoolboy had a 16th birthday to remember after a stripper ordered by his mother turned up at his drama class. The boy's mother apparently booked a "gorilla" to mark her son's big day through an agency, but a stripper turned up instead. The woman even asked her son's teacher at Nottingham's Arnold Hill School and Technology College to film the event so the family could see the boy's reaction. The stripper, who arrived halfway through the lesson, first walked the unnamed boy around the class on all fours like a dog. She then spanked him 16 times - once for each year - to the sound of Britney Spears, before stripping down to her bra and knickers. It was only when she asked the schoolboy to rub cream on her that the shocked teacher called a halt to the show. The boy's mother reportedly told the school the incident was the result of a booking error."
The story speaks for itself.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

A crazy mother and MySpace lead to Megan Meier's Death

Please watch what your kids are doing when they are online. Internet predators now include mothers spying on neighborhood children. A mother in DARDENNE PRAIRIE, Mo. created a fake MySpace profile because she wanted to gain Megan's confidence to know what Megan was saying about her own child online. When the mother didn't get what she wanted from Megan she started to spread rumors about Megan through MySpace. Now Megan is dead.
What the mother already knew was that Megan was a depressed kid. Now Megan is dead. This mother is the prime example of evil in the world. She makes my mother look like an angel.

Read the full story here

Friday, November 16, 2007

Makes me want to go to London

I guess this picture is going to get people to ride the train from Belgium to London.
Its a funny pic.. I think the guy is my mommies ex...

Read the full story here

Winehouse Trainwreck Stops in Birmingham

Just hours after paying her first visit to hubby Blake Fielder-Civil in prison, the "Rehab" singer kicked off the first night of her oft-delayed U.K. tour Wednesday, slurring her way through lyrics, insulting the audience and walking off stage midsong. Her fans responded in kind to the haphazard behavior by booing the singer throughout her abbreviated set and subsequently fleeing the venue in droves.

Winehouse is having some serious mental issues... god bless her... lol

Read the full story here

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Crazy Lebanese Leader tries to HELP out condi.

"They are welcome to all the money I have in America. Rice should take half of it to improve the way she looks. She should have her teeth straightened and her face fixed, and should make herself look nice. I donate what is left to George Bush, because I know he will soon be admitted to a mental asylum because of his policies," former Lebanese minister Wiam Wahhab said.

see the video here.

Like the pot calling he kettle black.

Killer Cold!!! CDC: New Respiratory Bug Has Killed 10

This is some scary stuff.. make sure you go to the doctor if your feeling sick!!
CDC: New Respiratory Bug Has Killed 10 This isn't funny but i thought everyone should know. Scary freaking stuff!

I don't Hate my Mother this much.

Some times my mother pisses me off. I thought i could use that anger to write a funny blog. Well in Texas some people express their anger differently. What a crazy mofo.
Mother beaten to death with rock in Fort Worth read that story. Their are some crazy people out there.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Top ten quotes about Mothers.

1. "Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young." ~
Author Unknown quotes

2. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger

3. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford.
Then I want to move in with them." ~ Phyllis Diller

4. My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it.
She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
~ Bob Monkhouse

5. "It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and
another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him." ~ Helen

6. "Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to
show that sleep is not necessary to human life." ~ Author Unknown

7. "My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she
enjoyed it." ~ Mark Twain

8. "My mother's menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave
it." ~ Buddy Hackett

9. The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.
~ Kin Hubbard

10. “Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried
jobs... since the payment is pure love.” ~ Mildred B. Vermont

Watch who is dating your mother!!

An 18 year old in Florida try to kill his friend because he was dating his mother. SCARY stuff.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Top 10 Reasons to hate your Mother.

1. Makes YOUR kids call her mommie!!

2. Hates your wife.

3. Steals your money.

4. Makes you take care of her animals.

5. She blames the huge credit card bills on you.

6. She has sex with the door open.

7. She steals your booze.

8. No more hugs.

9. Wrecks your car and makes YOU pay for it.

10. She steals your smokes.


Monday, November 12, 2007

Great Grandmother Strip-Searched At N.Y. Casino

A great-grandmother from Mount Vernon is filing suit for allegedly being strip searched at the Yonkers Raceway casino, after being wrongfully accused of lying about a lost paper winner's slip.

read more | digg story

Why we need condoms!!


Sunday, November 11, 2007

Even presidential candidates have evil Mommies!!

John McCain's mother and mine must be friends. Read how Mommy McCain blamed the world's evils on the Mormon religion. Sounds like my mom. McCain's Mom on Mormons.

Why I am here.

I started this blog as a knee jerk reaction to 3 years of pent up aggression towards my mother. Ever sense my wife and I have been together my mother has tried to run our children's lives. Its like she has gotten a second chance to be a parent. If the trend continues my wife and I will never get our first chance. I do love her very much but enough is enough.
It's time for my wife and I, and other parents in similar situations to take back control of their children. I am going to use this holiday season for a parenting assualt on my mother. Maybe I should just move away... that would be too easy. My children mean too much to me. They need to know their grandparents, but on my terms.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

I really love her.. but sometimes ......

I really do love my mother. Lately though she has been less mother and more Satan. Example:
Last night my darling mother asked my wife what we are getting our daughter for Christmas. My wife gladly told her what we were planning on. Never in our wildest dreams did we think that my mother would go out today and proceed to buy all those items and show them off as her presents to our daughter. BUT SHE DID!!!! hence the name of the blog!!!

So this holiday season is of to a great start.. Ho Ho Ho...